It's Bad Dream

I think this time it isn't I think too much.. You divisible your post from me, decline my phone, doesn't reply my message both in FB and phone.. You off your phone after I called in.. Well, Ying say, you uses your SIM for internet.. I tried to trust it, but I cant.. It's so hard to trust.. How I gonna trust it? Isit really just like what you all say, I'm too sensible? No.. 100%, it isn't.. Is you all do it too over le.. Message didn't reply is still consider as lazy wanna reply.. But calling until the phone stop and the 2nd time I call you purposely shut down the phone that's call, you really HATE/DISLIKE/FADE UP me.. Is this what you all are thinking? Wanna break the friendship between us? Tiara Jie says, this is our pleasure to be friends with each other because the God gives us this chance to meet each other, to know each other and to be friends with each other.. I appreciate that even sometimes I go something to 抱怨 between each of you, but I still 看重 our friendships.. But, what do you all treat me as actually? From your heart, you truly heart, what do you treat me as? True friendships? Or just the fake one? Which you all choose? I'm sorry that I annoyed so much about this stuff again.. I dont want much with you all, I just want a safety friendship relation.. I really dont want our relation 变质.. I still want this friendships.. Do you all? I still dont know wat's wrong between you all and me.. I thought that our problem have solve it on last Saturday or Sunday actully, but it seems that is I thinking it too naive.. If this is you all's 手段 to kick me out，then I can say, you all have success.. I have nothing to win you all.. I have completely lose..If this is you all's 选择，then I have nothing to say.. I will leave as you all wish to.. 'She' done anything wrong, you all just talk at her back.. I done wrong, you all wanted me to leave.. I have nothing to say.. I think this is what the adults say-- This is the world's REALITY.. YOU ALL COMPLETELY WIN.. From beginning till the end.. Till now it just a bad dream to me.. I'm just being a clown on this show.. Maybe I shall leave PEOPLE from the the world.. Maybe I shall be alone from the begining to the end of my life.. I always fall on the same spot.. I know that it will repeat and repeat again if I start a friendship, but I still jump in to the trap that I always fall.. I think I'll try to leave from FRIENDSHIP, this world to the end of my life.. I have fade up with friendship.. I'm tired to support friendship..

Can trust or Not?

Yesterday, I mean a day before my last post,(Actually my last post is on FRIDAY, forget POST.. I just post it..) she called me to explain fridays's "incident".. I sent her a message on Facebook, the words in the message quite rude actually.. Hmm.. Maybe quite.. She explain everything.. Bha.. Actually was a mistaken "incident".. She and SHE--S, thought that I 'sam pat' to teacher, so they angry me(is according to her's statement).. True or not, I dont know.. I just accept it to make myself feel better.. She asked me not to become too sensible on this kind of stuff.. Yesterday, I feel quite relief because she told me that she treated me as a FRIEND, and she--s also.. After finish talking with her, I called another her.. Hmm.. I feel that she was impatience when I called her.. Well, I dont think that she satisfied with my explanation.. Feel that, she just feel very annoyed on me.. Quite miserable on that.. BUT... A day after yesterday, I totally broke down my confidence.. All my confident really broken.. I dont know they still treat friend me or not.. Just because 1 message.. Actually in the afternoon I already felt very unsafety about it, but night, I get that 'LUCKY MESSAGE'.. The 1st 'she' wrong sending to me.. When I get that message my mind comes out a question, "Couldn't I ask about it? What so secret that can't tell me?".. I ask about the project only, you ask 3rd 'she', "(...), (...) got sms you and ask about de project?".. What for you ask about it? I mean, what for you must ask another first.. Need to build you all's answer to 'debate' my question? I just wanted to ask only.. I didn't say I must join your group, if you all do not want me in.. I can leave, as you all like~!!!! Don't use that kind of SIGN.. Tell me DIRECTLY.. I'm stupid, I can't UNDERSTAND your's DISLIKE/HATE SIGN.. I just get it on DIRECT WORDS..

Friendship, True or Fake?

Is this gonna happen again? Breaking up with friends.. I dont know what to comment about.. I just know that it will break up few weeks or few months later.. You ak me why, I have no idea also.. They totally ignore me, from morning till finish school.. It make feel that they totally don't want to talk to me.. Am I mistaken? I don't know.. I just know that I get totally angry on it.. Whenever I do anyhitngs, surely I'll look for them and see what are they doing.. But for them, they totally DONT CARE, COMPLETELY IGNORE.. SHIT~!! Fade up, it made me totally fade up.. You all just enjoy what you all are doing, enjoying yours EXCITED conversation.. You all completely din feel what I feel and also din care what I feel, when you all treat me like this.. You all treat me just like a DOG~!! A dog that serves ou all.. When you call, i come; when you get accompanied, you all just throw me alone there, talk also lazy want to talk to me.. Not I'm too sensible, is you all make it too clearly le.. I just want to igonore because I need you, friend, but you all.. You all din treat me as friends before ok.. I reali what I should do and talk about.. It makes me totally speechless on that day, just left anger.. I dont know that you all treat me as a real friend or a fake friend.. Bha.. I just can do a thing, that's, wait yours 'judgement'.. That's it..

Tsunami Strikes Japan~!!!

The Tsunami is here again~!!! It had it before since December 26,2006.. March 11, 2011, it has it again.. This time the Tsunami happened in Japan.. Actually, yesterday my parents and I were planning to go Hokkaido on June.. But now, I think we will cancel this planning.. It's so scary.. It sudden happens Earthquake there, and it is 8.9 magnitude Earthquake..


Omo~!! Everything there has destroy.. Houses, cars, boats, buildings, etc.. I really hurt when I saw this news.. 2oo over people are dead.. Oh My God~!! Please Pray for the Victims.. I get scared about the incident because it says that it will affect Sabah also between 6pm till 12am.. The messages and the news are spreaded all over Sabah or maybe Malaysia.. Bha.. It's really a very serious case..

Today's sky it reali shows very badly.. Cloudy, blur, and the colour of the sky feels that it is crying.. Cries sadly..

When the news about it will affect Sabah, the first thing come in my mind is, I still got a lot of things haven't done yet.. Still haven't enjoy University's life, haven't in a relationship before, etc.. It really SWEAT~!! I don't want to be hang on the tree.. TT

It almost 12am now.. Tsunami, please get away from us.. We didn't do anything wrong to the God.. Let's pray to the God for best bright future..

Kpop

Annyeong~!!!
This year i'm totally, fully, completely, crazy on Kpop.. Songs, dramas, programmes, etc.. Really crazy on~!!! Phone's themes are ready to change later.. XD
My blog now is on the Kpop Wave~!!!
Enjoy the songs^^

3个月的琐事

3个月了。新年`情人节`月考，统统都过去了。有些事也过去了。。
跟她的友情足足过了一年。刚开始时觉得怪苦的，好像没了这个朋友，我会撑不下去，后来觉得没了她，日子还是得过。
跟阿Bii，盈，还有Juju过着Form5生活。跟她们在一起很开心，可是她们的‘毒舌功夫’真的很难忍受；他们的举止真的让我很没有安全感，在学校的时候，他们的言行就好像对着自己不爽的人一样；相反的，在通讯或网上聊天的时候就超好的。说真的，我都快给他们搞得有人格分裂症了。你们到底是怎样的人呢？这麽多年了，我还是没办法适应她们的模式。三位亲爱的朋友啊，我个人超敏感的，不要对我若即若离，好吗？我很接受得了。还剩一年咱们就毕业了，让咱们当多一年的朋友吧。
在友情上，我依然跌跌撞撞，没改变过。到底是什么问题，我还是不晓得。是我的问题吗？还是她们呢？抑或是，我的脸看起来就不讨人喜欢？我承认我长得丑，可是友情不是不论长相`身高`钱财`等等之类的吗。为什么不能接受我这个‘人’呢？怪好奇+奇怪~！！！！
‘不慎脚有运’快滚吧~！！不要来了~！！我已经跌了够久够多了。重复又重复的跌倒也会让开朗的人也变得郁闷得好吗。我真的很累了。小心翼翼的保护友情，真的很累。我真的快撑不住了。